He only woke 3 times the first night, twice the second and third, and once for the next few days (he slept for nine hours in a row and then fed then two hours after).

We see this a lot—parents aren’t given the full story about what secure attach- ment really means, and that it includes having an eye toward your baby’s growing independence, learning, and, sometimes, struggle. Problems can arise when parents (with the best of intentions) overhelp or ‘helicopter parent’ at night, overshadowing their baby’s biological ability to sleep well.

If you’re an adult, you might lie there for a while — hopefully you fall back to sleep, or you if you’re an early bird and like that hour, you might get up and do something lovely and productive before the rest of the world is awake. In our approach, your baby will definitely have big feelings and protest the new way of falling asleep, but will never wonder or worry about where you are. But over and over, we see that parents ei- ther skew toward overhelping, or they overhelp, get fed up, and feel that they have no choice but to resort to a harsh, underhelping stance.

The other half of the time she'd sleep for an hour or two and then wake up, and the only way we could get her to sleep was by lying down with her (and then staying there all night, because she'd wake up multiple times and look for us). It was painful and every wakeup was taking longer and longer, sometimes she'd resist going back to sleep for 2 hours, only to wake 30 min later. Sleep issues arise when parents (with the best of intentions) over-help or "helicopter parent" at night--overshadowing their baby's innate biological ability to sleep well. Warm, supportive parenting and a full night of independent sleep are not mutually exclusive'we're going to show you how they work together naturally and seamlessly.She will cry out a few times a night during light sleep cycles but she barely even wakes up, just feels around for her pacifier and puts it back in, often not even opening her eyes. When you do something for your child that she is able to do herself, you take away her chance to struggle and ultimately learn. She wasn't falling asleep on her own at night anymore, and we had to hold her for a long time to get her to sleep and then half the time she'd wake up as soon as we set her in her crib and we had to start over. In childhood the amount of optimal sleep gradually decreases, but school-age children still need roughly 10 hours of sleep. But this philosophy felt gentle and compassionate — and provided a super clear structure for nighttime sleep, naps, and even weaning.