p.97 – Chapter 4 – Why Now? – “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” (Oprah Winfrey) If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm. 12 An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

God’s plan to bring people together was through forgiveness. Without it, we remain apart. There are times where we may be physically present together, giving the impression that we are in “perfect harmony,” yet completely distanced from each other due to a refusal to forgive. The greatest gifts you'll ever receive will come through relationships. The most meaningful connections may last for a few moments or for a lifetime, but each will be a reminder that we were meant to be a part of one another's lives, to lit one and another up, to reach heights together greater than any of us could reach on our own. Belonging is a must-read for anyone interested in building a long term high-performing team.' - Stuart Lancaster Friends have even shared about hosting virtual Book clubs, doing cooking night competitions on Zoom, or serving those in need in the community by volunteering at a local food bank or dropping off essential goods.One of the wisest books about winning you'll ever read...Powerful lessons beautifully expressed.' - James Kerr While technology promises to connect us, it can also isolate; while mobility means our loved ones are only a train ride or flight away, we also move away from the communities where we grew up; while we increasingly have the opportunity to pursue our individual destinies, we can put our own goals ahead of our relationships and community; and despite all of the progress we have made in how we talk about mental health, we are still ashamed of feeling lonely. Dr. Murthy further contextualizes the subject with explorations of the social and evolutionary implications of our need to connect and what happens when we find ourselves untethered.

A lonely college student who started up conversation groups called Space Gatherings, where no cell phones were allowed and honest conversation was encouraged. For the time being, we are no longer able to meet together at our usual campuses, workplaces, church services, facility venues, homes, or restaurants to make connections. Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. 10 If one falls down, the other can help him up. But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help. The heroes in our stories personify the best version of Us. The villains fall into two camps: Them, but also the individuals within Us who are selfish - those who put themselves before Us and thereby risk our safety, stability and status. The amazing men's shed project, a non-profit that has spread worldwide with the goal of connecting lonely, retired men with building projects to make them feel connected and useful again.

Although spending time together does indeed create togetherness, it’s vulnerability that cements our connection with each other.” The Power of Togetherness Developing comfort with solitude is an essential part of strengthening our connection to ourselves and by extension enabling our connection with others. Solitude, paradoxically, protects against loneliness. In your relationships, do you take the initiative to pursue building them or wait for others to make relationships convenient for your life? Dr. Vivek H. Murthy was confirmed by the U.S. Senate in March 2021 to serve as the 21st Surgeon General of the United States as a returning role. As the Nation’s Doctor, the Surgeon General’s mission is to restore trust by relying on the best scientific information available, providing clear, consistent guidance and resources for the public, and ensuring that we reach our most vulnerable communities As the Vice Admiral of the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, Dr. Murthy commands a uniformed service of 6,000 dedicated public health officers, serving the most underserved and vulnerable populations domestically and abroad.

Eastwood was intrigued by the belonging cues that occur during a Royal Marines Commando Green Beret ceremony when new Commandos are inducted into the Marines. It was conducted in a deeply personal manner, with the Royal Marines understanding that the ceremony provided a critical opportunity to instil a deep sense of belonging. Team members go above and beyond their role for, and on behalf of, the team (e.g., they encourage and support their teammates to achieve their potential). Initially a navigator’s strength came from their ability to simultaneously carry in their hands both a grand vision and an intimate understanding of the detail. For Eastwood’s ancestors the grand vision was new land, and the intimate understanding of the detail was the sun, the stars, and the constellations - all of which were used to navigate at the time.Relational, or social, loneliness is the yearning for quality friendships and social companionship and support. Humans are social creatures: in this simple and obvious fact lies both the problem and the solution to the current crisis of loneliness. In his groundbreaking book, the 19th Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Vivek Murthy makes a case for loneliness as a public health concern: a root cause and contributor to many of the epidemics sweeping the world today from alcohol and drug addiction to violence to depression and anxiety. Loneliness, he argues, is affecting not only our health but also how our children experience school, how we perform in the workplace, and the sense of division and polarization in our society. When our Us story is weak, we are weak. We should talk about how to do tasks, but it’s integral not to forget the what and why too.

To feel a sense of belonging is to feel accepted, to feel seen and to feel included by a group of people, believing that we fit in, trusting we will be protected by them. Togetherness is about family, not a facility. In the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, many throughout the world are limited to sheltering in place. On the early grasslands, we carried obvious physiological disadvantages over other animals but from this brutal reality the super strength of Homo sapiens emerged: the ability to form strongly-bonded and highly effective groups.We’re also getting to know our neighbors better and enjoying learning more about their lives and interests since we have all been sheltering-in-place. And my kids love interacting and talking with friends while gaming together, having Netflix movie watch parties online together, and going out for outdoor hikes while social distancing. I’ve given this book a low rating mainly for the structure and format of the writing, not necessarily the content itself. The content is fine (little new information here if you’ve read anything on the topic previously), but the structure of chapters renders the book sinfully dull. I think this could have benefitted from a stronger editor and a clearer vision for what each chapter and section would achieve. The points feel opaque; they’re hidden behind incoherent approach. Personal stories are mixed with stories from others, along with actual findings from studies. This means you’ve often spent 20 minutes reading to get to a fairly simple point. When the sun shines on us we are alive, we are strong. For we have had passed down to us a culture that immerses us in deep belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of identity with those around us and this anchors us. We share a purpose with them. We share a vision of the future. We fit in here. Rituals and traditions tie us together. The experiences and wisdom of those who walked in the light before our time are passed on to us.” Beyond kin, this concept of Whakapapa frames our connection to any group we belong to. It is a universal idea and one that Eastwood has coached on around the world.